


anorexic beauty

by cookiemustdie



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Bisexuality, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Fainting, Gen, Im so sorry its so bad, Kinda, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Pretend they have accents, References to Drugs, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting, i guess, its my first work dont judge me, me just being angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiemustdie/pseuds/cookiemustdie
Summary: "Your cold, hard eyes made me feel a fool, Al. They still do."In which Miles loves Alex without caring the way he looks.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 18
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

It was fucking boring.

It was so fucking boring to be in this shitty bar all alone.

Miles had been waiting for Matt for half an hour now, sitting on the same uncomfortable bar stool.

Yes, he was upset.

But how could you blame him, if just a couple minutes ago he had a fight with his girlf– well, _ex-girlfriend_... about, "When are you coming to pick all your stuff? You've got to grow up someday, I wasn't gonna babysit you all my life–", and blah blah blah.

In fact, that was the very reason he was going to see Matt; his poor best friend will have to deal with him until he gets his own place to live.

So, here he was: with a cold beer in his hand, a car full of his belongings, and a bad mood that was slowly becoming into sadness due to his sudden loneliness.

But no.

Fuck, no.

He wasn't going to cry for her, not again.

Instead, he takes a big sip of his drink, looking at his side when he ends, catching a look.

It was a boy.

A very cute one, if he was honest.

He was wearing a pair of jeans, with black boots underneath them and a black Beatles t-shirt.

Miles couldn't tell if it was because this was his third beer already or what, but he could swear that he'd never seen something so pretty before. He even wondered if he'd look like this or even prettier with his clothes off.

The night was young, after all.

He took another big sip, looking at the boy like a creep until he felt his phone vibrate in his left pocket.

_won't be able to make it, breana's not feeling well but she says it's ok for you to come :p_

Miles smiled at the emoji. He got up from his seat and grabbed his stuff, leaving some money on the table. He turned around and caught the guy from earlier looking at him, playing with the straw coming out from his glass.

The younger man stayed hard on his place at first, but quickly gave him a smile.

And the mysterious boy smiled too.

°•°•°•°•°•°

"You come here often, then?" asked Miles, with a cigarette on his hand.

"Yeah, I suppose. My friends like this place."

Miles nodded, blowing the smoke out of his lungs.

"So, Alex," yes, he had already guessed his name. "What do you do for fun?"

Alex took a drag of his own cigarette and smiled.

"Lots of things."

He leaned his back against the wall, and, thanks to the bright moonlight, Miles got able to appreciate his features more. His lips were slightly purple, probably because of the cold London winter; his skin tone was white, but a bit pale; he was skinny, his thin fingers seemed to hold his cigarette in a delicate way; his legs were long and Miles couldn't help but imagine them around his waist, pressing them together again and again.

And finally, his hair.

Oh God, his hair.

Kane found it quite charming, with its waves and light brown colour.

Turner noticed the younger man didn't stop looking at him, he raised a brow and threw the butt to a side. He sighed and waited for the other to make a move, who had also finished smoking. 

Finally, he approached the body he wanted so much, positioning his head in the curve of his neck, inhaling his scent and sighing, giving Alex the shivers.

"Show me," Miles said, barely audible, giving him a soft bite. "Show me what you can do."

°•°•°•°•°•°

Everything happened quite quickly, to be honest.

Soon, Alex's room was full of dirty sounds: with both of them moaning, Miles' lower half colliding with Alex's ass, the bed creaking a bit against the wall... 

Both bodies movex against each other desperately, Miles was grabbing his waist, while Alex had his hands clung to his own bedsheets.

Miles couldn't believe how much he was enjoying this. It had been a while, really. After the breakup, he didn't want (nor have the courage) to get involved with someone else, sexually speaking. 

But, _God, it felt good_.

And how could he not possibly feel good? With a boy on his belly, under him, with a (now messy) Beatles' t-shirt on, and his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead due to the rapid movements he was doing. 

"A-ah, Miles, fuck!" 

He was close, he could feel it. 

Suddenly, Alex felt some weight on his back, and a hand going under his shirt, caressing his (slightly outstanding) ribs and then pinching his left nipple. Now, only high-pitched moans came out of his mouth. 

"Touch me," he pleaded in a breath, and Miles obeyed. 

His other hand took Alex's member and started stroking it. The temperature seemed to rise even more.

"I-I'm gonna cum," Turner gasped.

"Yeah?" Miles cheekily asked, wanking him faster.

"Oh, fuck, _Miles_." Alex grabbed his hair with his right hand, trying to pull him closer, and to also not make his body fall completely. He was barely keeping it together.

Soon, they were both coming undone, with Miles' hand being filled with the white, sticky substance; and with Alex's favourite t-shirt getting ruined by it.

While coming down from his high giving the final, tired and mild thrusts, the younger man said, " _You're so fucking beautiful, Alex. You've no idea_."

And finally, Alex fell on the bed, exhausted.

°•°•°•°•°•°

"So you're not gonna tell me who this mysterious person is?" Matt insisted, chasing Miles all over the apartment.

"There's nothing to talk about, Matthew. Now, excuse me but I've got to finish this paper!" Kane said, sitting on the dark red settee in front of the TV in Matt's flat, with half an essay written down in the paper he had on his hand.

"Oh yeah yeah, 'I've got to finish this paper' he said, ignoring the fact that he had an awesome shag last night, after months and months of being depressed about his stupid ex-girlfriend." Helders mocked him and the other just gave him an annoyed look and sighed. "Well I'm sorry, but I'm your best mate and, c'mon, don't tell me this wasn't important to you. I know you too well."

"Well, what exactly do you want to know, huh?" the older man asked irritated, trying not to look at his friend. He was kind of uncomfortable. 

"Jeez, no need to get all fussy about it! I don't know, was she good?"

Miles looked at a side and refreshed his mind with the memories from the night before. He smiled and simply said, "Yes, _he_ was." 

"Ooh, so she is a he, aye? That's interesting."

"What's interesting?" Breana asked, making the two of them turn and see her coming out from her and Matt's room with a tissue on her hand, covering her nose. 

"Oh, nothing, Miles was just telling me how some boy fucked his brains out last night."

"Matt!" Miles punched him in the arm, making the girl laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya! as you probably already know this is my first work here, so please excuse the horrible writing  
> besides, english is not even my mother tongue so that just makes it worse lol  
> anywayy, i really hope you liked this, whatever this is, i still have to work on it really,,,,, any kind of feedback is appreciated,  
> thanks for reading so far!!! :))
> 
> \- may 💖


	2. Chapter 2

_"Would you get the moon for me?" he asked the man who was next to him, with a cigarette on his hand._

_"Shit, I'd get you the whole galaxy if I could, babe."_

_Alex laughed. "Babe?"_

_"Yup, **babe**." He got closer to his body, and started kissing his neck softly, making the younger smile. "You look so good with my shirt on." He gave a small lick and showed his cigarette to Alex._

_"O-oh, I... I don't really..."_

_"No? And why is that?" he asked, staying behind Alex, hand on his waist, smoking the thin cylinder._

_"Kinda scared that my parents would find out, dunno."_

_"Well, you already are doing a lot of things behind your parents' back now, isn't it?" the older man said sarcastically, and threw the ashes from the balcony of his hotel room. He passed the cigarette once more. "C'mon, live a little."_

_Alex licked his lips and smiled cheekily, grabbing it. He put it between his lips and started inhaling._

_"Okay, so now, breath in again. There you go."_

_Alex let all the smoke leave his system and laughed, coughing a bit. He passed the cigarette back to him. "Not bad."_

_Some minutes passed, in which Oliver had finished smoking and got into yet another make out session with him on this hot July night._

_They got to the older man's bed and held each other tenderly. It was unbelievable how protected and safe Alex felt in his baby's arms. Just, away from harm and everything that bothered him. They've been talking for just a couple of months now, but he felt as if he'd known him for his whole life. It was kind of a cliché saying, but he'd truly never felt something like this before; he usually would get tired of someone at this point, but everything was different with Oliver. He was like the missing part of his life he wanted to find so much. He doubts he could ever feel like this again with someone._

_Fuck, what would he do if things with Oliver didn't work out in the first place?_

_He closed his eyes shut and just shook those thoughts away, hugging the man tighter._

_"Would you still be here in the morning?"_

_"I'll be here until you get tired of me," he answered, kissing his forehead._

_Alex smiled. "I mean, don't you have to go back to London tomorrow?"_

_"Oh. Well, yes, unfortunately so."_

_Alex groaned. "I don't want you to leave."_

_Since Alex's parents were out of town due to some bussiness emergency shit, and Oliver got a free weekend off his summer job, they've got the chance to see each other for the second time this holidays. They've spent these last three days in this hotel a little away from town, eating whatever they like, shagging whenever they like; reading some of Alex's favourite books and listening to some of Oliver's favourite music._

_However, the sounds that Alex liked the most were the ones his lover would do when he was sucking his dick or letting him go in and out of him abruptly._

_Hell, he knew he was breaking the rules._

_A lot of rules, all of them in a row._

_But he loved it. He loved how forbidden and dangerous it was. The fact that he was seeing an older man behind everyone's back; that he was falling in love with his other half. He'd never let him go. He'd never let **this** go. Ever._

_"Aw, bunny, I don't want to go either, but you know how things are."_

_Alex groaned again and looked at him in the eye._

_"Nah, don't make those puppy eyes at me." He pressed his cheeks together and gave him a little peck on the lips. "C'mon, we'll see each other before you know it."_

_"Promise?"_

_He nodded._

_"Gonna miss the hell out of you, Oli."_

_Oliver just smiled and kept on kissing him._

•~•~•~•

"Al... Hey, Al. Wake up, c'mon." Nick grabbed his shoulders, making Alex groan and hide under the sheets. " _Come oooon!_ We're gonna be late!"

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna skip class today."

"What? No, it's been days since you didn't show up, professor Jones hasn't stopped asking about you!" Nick rolled his eyes as he heard his best friend sigh. "He even gave me your mid-term exam. Congrats, by the way."

Alex immediately got up, grabbing the piece of paper. "I got an... A-."

"Yes, congratulations, Al. Now, would you mind getting up from bed before you miss another class?"

Turner just sighed and said with a smile, "You might've won this one, O'Malley..."

"Yeah, yeah, you're totally gonna be my bitch forever."

°•°•°•°•°•°

_'I know when to go out_  
_And when to stay in._  
_Get things done.'_

Miles kept on walking to the market at a cheerful rhythm, despite the fact that his best friend had literally forced him to do the groceries. He basically owned him for not being homeless after all, so.

He was grabbing some cookies, almost finishing with all the list when all of a sudden, he remembered a specific moment from a couple of days ago.

_Alex was in a deep, deep sleep._

_It was almost ten a.m and Miles really should get going. Of course he had already told Matt he wasn't going to spend the night at his', but it was getting kind of late now._

_He looked at Alex's back one more time, laughing softly when he noticed that the boy hadn't taken off his shirt, not even once. He extended his arm, insecure, and called him._

_"Alex?"_

_Nothing._

_"Alex," he said firmly._

_This time he did get a response; the older man groaned, turning around, although he was still asleep. Now with a frown on his face, combined with pouty lips._

_He looked cute._

_Miles just limited himself to smile at the sight and got up, grabbing his clothes and stuff quickly, trying not to wake up the other. He finally exited the room, bumping into something, or someone._

_"Ah shit, sorry!" he exclaimed._

_"Oh, no worries," the boy said carelessly. "I'm Alex's roommate, Nick."_

_"Well, nice to meet you, I guess," he responded jokingly and gave the boy a better look. He was wearing some black pants and a white t-shirt as pajamas. He had a pack of Oreos on his right hand and his phone on the other. "Anyway, I should go, so..."_

_"Yeah, right, hope you've a good day," Nick said with a smile and went on what Miles supposed was his room._

_And just like that, Kane left the building._

It was kind of awkward, really. Just crashing into Alex's roommate like that; and what had confused him the most was the fact that he was so chill about it. Like it wasn't the first time they'd met each other. Or as if it wasn't the first time he'd seen some random bloke leaving Turner's room.

Whatever, he didn't care. And obviously, he didn't even think about Alex, or his sex life, not at all. It was more like as if life tried to get him on his way, making Miles remember him, and the (lovely?) night they had spent together.

He shook his thoughts away and kept on walking through the shop, grabbing a couple of Oreos for himself.

But then again, _boom_.

' _Never gonna fall for_  
_Modern love, walks-'_

He bumped into someone while Bowie was resonating out his headphones.

"Fuck, sorry!" the stranger apologized.

He paused the music. "Ah, don't worry, I wasn't payin- Woah, Alex?"

"Miles," the mentioned greeted, with a surprised tone.

Even though he would never admit it, Miles let out an excited, "Hi."

"Hi."

"W-What are you doing here?" Alex gave him a sarcastic smile. "Right, yeah, that was a stupid question."

_Jesus, you barely know him, how can you be so bloody nervous?_

"Er, I... I was just thinking about you, actually," said Miles, without thinking twice. He blushed and stuck his eyes to the floor, trying to hide from the man standing in front of him.

_What the fuck, Miles?!_

"Really?" He heard Alex ask softly, immediately looking up, noticing how beautiful that sort of shy smirk looked on his face.

"Yeah," they stared each other in the eye for a mere second, until Miles tried to change the subject, "d'you like Oreos?"

"Uh, I... No, I was just sent here by my roomie, he's a lazy fuck and he loves these, _I don't really eat them,_ " he explained, looking at the package with apathetical eyes. "Oh, by the way," he reached his backpack and got out some keys that Miles found familiar, "you forgot these at my flat. I didn't know where to find you, so I guess I just hoped I'd see you again to return them, someday."

Miles froze, watching what Hannah's apartment keys were now. All of a sudden, a lot of memories came to his mind; the kisses, the jokes, the drunken nights, the photos, the way she looked during an orgasm and the way she loved to paint. Just, everything.

He blinked rapidly, and grabbed them brusquely. "Thanks."

Alex just looked at him kind of confused, though his expression remained blank.

"So, you were hoping to see me again, aye?" Miles mocked him.

"Mhm, don't get cocky," he said, positioning his backpack in its place. "Anyway, it was nice seeing you. Take care." And just like that he walked away, passing to his back, out of Miles' sight.

But, wait.

Miles didn't want him to leave, not yet.

"Alex!" he turned around, watching that little and skinny frame one more time. "Can I have your number?"

Alex looked at him surprised, tightening his hold on the shopping basket.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Miles."

°•°•°•°•°•°

"Shit, Jesus Christ, Alex," Miles moaned into his ear, feeling his nails dugging onto his back, encouraging him to keep on going.

So, once again they were complementing each other, between gasps and tight grips. They could feel each other touching everywhere, except for that stupid white t-shirt Alex had on that was making Miles crazy. Still, he decided to ignore it, he was about to literally finish anyway.

Suddenly, they were both moaning loudly, almost coming completely undone.

"God, _Mi_ , go faster."

Miles smiled at the nickname, but asked a confused, "What?", with heavy breathing.

"Do it faster, fucking make me cum already." Alex grabbed his face, kissing him deeply and giving open-mouthed moans into his lips as he felt his cock touching his sweet spot.

And just like that, they both came in sync, with Alex's feet holding Miles' waist in its place, and curling its toes.

Kane sighed and fell over the body under him, resting his head on his chest, not coming off his insides. Turner just stayed still, looking to a side, not hugging or touching Miles whatsoever.

The younger man moved to the other side of the bed, making him complain with a soft whine due to the sudden movement. Miles chuckled against the pillow, making Alex laugh as well. They both looked at each other; Miles' hair was stuck to his forehead, his smile couldn't be brighter. As for Alex, he just had a peaceful look, he seemed sort of happy and strangely pleased, satisfied.

But, once he realised how much they've been staring at each other, with such serene and content looks, he freaked out.

"I... I should go," he said, getting up and out of the bed, searching for his jeans with his eyes.

"Already? I mean, you could stay if you want, Matt and–my friends won't mind," said Miles, leaning on his elbows.

"Nah, it's okay. Don't wanna bother."

"You don't."

Alex turned around, already with half of his body dressed.

"You're nice, Miles, really." He got closer to the bed and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll see you around, yeah?"

And he closed the door, leaving a kind of confused and naked Miles.

What's his deal? Had Miles gone too fast or clingy? He was just trying to be nice. He wouldn't have asked for his number if he knew it was going to be so weird. Suddenly, all the memories from his past relationship came back to his mind once again: the lies, the lack of attention, the not-feeling-enough shit, the anxiety, the crying, the fighting and all the shitty things that came along with it.

He fell on the bed once more.

"Just live on the moment, come on. Don't worry about it, just..." he sighed, and searched inside the drawer in his bedside table. He got out the weed Jamie had given him a couple of months ago and furrowed his brows.

_'You gotta chill, man! C'mon, live a little,' he'd passed Miles the little baggie._

The boy smiled, remembering his friend's drunk grin. "Ah, fuck it." He made himself a joint and took Cook's advice.

After that, he left Alex a message, but only to remind the young man that now he was on his contacts list, of course.

°•°•°•°•°•°

"Ahoy, sexy!" Nick greeted, while playing some video game on the telly. "Jesus, what took you so long?"

"Here you've got your stupid Oreos," Alex basically threw them at him, staying between his thighs and stomach.

"Oi! Well, it wasn't a good day, then?" He paused the game.

"Sorry, I just... I think I fucked up." He rubbed his eyes anxiously, still standing on the door.

"Well, here's Dr. O'Malley to help you, this is a safe place, so you don't have to worry, Mr. Turner," he said with a funny voice, standing up and making Alex chuckle.

"Fine, Dr. O'Malley, you see, it happens to be a fella actually, name's Miles, whom I'm currently fucking, and–" Nick gasped excitedly, like a teenage girl, and before Alex could finish, he was all over him. 

"Oh my god! You have a crush on someone, that's why you're acting so weird! Besides, he's so cute."

"Wait, you guys meet?"

"Not really, but he did talk to me a bit before he left the other day, nice lad."

"Yeah, he is." Alex walked to his room.

"Wait, don't ignore me!" Nick followed him. "So, what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, _Nick, what am I gonna do_?" 

"Ah, don't be daft! You know what I mean."

"Well, I guess I'll just wait how things turn out. Go with the flow, and all that shit." 

"Ugh, you're so boring. If you like him so much—"

"Never said I did."

"Yeah, right, but it shows! C'mon, you'd basically never seen someone twice." The older man threw himself on the bed, while Alex was cleaning the rest of his room.

"Well, he's a really nice fuck, what do you want me to say?"

"That you shouldn't be so cold, accept your feelings and give it a go." Nick had a disgusted face, all of a sudden. "Oh my God, this is where you two actually fucked, right? _Eww!_ " And he got up, staying at the door. "Before I go, I'm just going to say that, when everything goes downhill, don't tell me I didn't tell you so." 

"Ooh, I'm so scared," the younger one responded sarcastically. "Get out."

Alex closed the door and sat on the bed, resting his head against the mattress. And before he could at least think about what Nick said, a _ping!_ interrupted him. 

' _'sup babe? x_ '

It was from Miles. Alex laughed at the nickname and smiled, leaving his phone on his bedside table. He sighed, thinking about Miles one more time and finally closed his eyes to rest from this long, heavy day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys loved it and i actually can't bELIEVE IT!!! 💖  
> thank you so much for the support and love you've been giving me, it means a lot and it encourages me to keep on going :))
> 
> btw, there are some things i forgot to metion:  
> \- early sias alex and 2009(ish) miles  
> \- the song miles is listening to is modern love by david bowie,,,,  
> also another big thanks to my friend [butnottxday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butnottxday) for helping me a bit with my oc and encourage me as well, love u so so much <33
> 
> pls leave a comment or kudos, hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *enters the room while tna is sounding in the background*
> 
> oh my loves, it's been such a long timeeeee!  
> sorry for the long wait, school and quarantine crisis kept me real busy,,, anyways hope you're doing well and that you like this piece of shit! :D✨

_“And it was amazing, like, we barely did anything…” Alex was mumbling in front of his phone, laying on his bed. “And I even met someone! His name's Nick, he seems really nice and he’s pretty funny.”_

_Oliver looked at him with a mocking look._

_“What?”_

_“You like him or summat?”_

_“What? Of course not!” Alex answered with a high-pitched voice. “You know you’re the only one…” he said, now with a lower tone, nearly seductive._

_The older man raised a brow, shifting on his own bed, grabbing his phone and giving Alex an interesting, almost encouraging, look. The conversation seemed to change radically all of a sudden, Turner changed his position as well, he passed his hand through his long curls (trying to provoke his boyfriend), his Strokes’ t-shirt covered his thighs now._

_“… Daddy,” he finally finished saying with a sigh._

_Oliver sighed as well, bit his lip, smiling. “You look quite charming like this, baby boy.”_

_Alex positioned his phone against his pillow and sat in front of it. “Like what, daddy?”_

_“Like this. Being all teasy, trying to get my attention.”_

_“Well, it’s working, isn’t it?” he smiled cheekily._

_“Yeah, it definitely is.”_

_They simply stared at each other for a moment, with silly smiles on their faces._

_“I miss you so much, daddy.”_

_“Aw, I miss you too, babe.” He had a loving look, his eyes almost seemed heart-shaped. “But we’ll see each other real soon, yeah? Can’t wait to kiss that pretty face of yours.”_

_Alex laughed softly and got up to turn off the lights, leaving just the lamp from his bedside table on._

_“And grab that little ass," he continued, looking at the teenager with lust._

_“Mhm, I bet, since you’re all scared some lad I've just met could take me away from you.” Alex got into the covers and sighed. It was raining outside, and he felt a little cold. “Ah, I really wish you were here, warming me up with your arms.”_

_“Ugh, don’t be so corny.”_

_“I’m serious! Don’t you wanna be with me, Daddy?”_

_“Aah, you know I do.”_

_“Mmm, it doesn't sound like you’re being honest.”_

_“Well, what do I have to do to convince you?”_

_“I don’t know, what would you do?”_

_Oliver laughed. “I think you should go to bed now, babe.”_

_“Yup,” he finally turned off the little lamp and laid down. “I love you, daddy.”_

_“I love you too, baby, don’t forget that’ll never change.”_

_“Mmm, who’s the cheesy one now?” he smiled in the darkness of his room._

_“Shut the fuck up," he pretended to be offended. "Love you, good night.”_

_“Loooooove you, night.”_

_And he hung up._

•~•~•~•

"Oh, God, I missed you," Miles breathed into Alex's ear, hands on his waist, making him smirk and gasp. "You sure we can be here?"

"Yes, don't worry about it, Nick's not going to be here until five." The older man pushed him, got on his knees and grabbed his belt, kissing him once again. He unbuckled it, licking his lips and seeing him as he did so.

Miles felt as if the sofa he was sitting on was swallowing his body.

"Oh, Jesus, fuck."

His hands desperately ran through Alex’s hair, while the boy was giving a few licks on the tip of his cock, making him sigh. He finally started sucking him, but did it at an extremely calm pace, probably to tease Miles. The young man looked at him, and how his member was going in and out of his mouth, painfully slow.

“Al, fuck.”

His mouth popped and grinned. “What?”

Miles watched his, now drooled, chin and little smile, and couldn’t help but copy the gesture.

“You think you could go a bit faster, baby?” His hand caressed his hair and went down his cheek, to lastly settle on his dirty chin.

“Mmm, I don’t think so,” he shamelessly responded. “Why, you don't like it?”

Miles softly laughed. “Of course I do.”

“Then don’t complain.” He lowered his head once again, and just continued working with his mouth.

Kane rested his head on the back of the sofa. How could this idiot be so cocky?

“Ah! _Fucking hell!_ ”

The bastard was going really-fucking-fast now, almost gagging, grasping Miles’ thighs.

_Damn, was he a fucking clairvoyant now?_

°•°•°•°•°•°

“You did amazing,” he sighed, hands on his sides, with messy jeans and underpants.

“Well, I told you not to complain.” Alex gave him a knowing look. He was sitting next to him, gasping a bit, his hair was everywhere.

Miles focused on his body, worshiping and studying it simultaneously, as he always did.

He wanted to fuck him right on this couch, even though he had just came seconds ago. _How was that even possible?_

He put his hand atop of his, making him turn his head and kissed him deeply, breathing through his nose. His mouth still had that taste, _his_ taste.

He finished by giving some small pecks and paused to look at his eyes, continuing on his face. He seemed calm, a bit tired but content. His lips curved one more time, and then he got up.

“Gonna have a party in a few days at my- well Matt’s flat," he said, fixing his pants. The fact that Alex looked so uncomfortable in his clothes made him smirk, almost proud that the older man seemed to also have a good time with him.

“Oh?”

“I mean, y’know... You could come.”

“… You want me to come?” _Was that a smirk?_

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, obviously. Well, if you want to.” _Yup, that was definitely a smirk now._

“ _Welp_ ,” he then got up, stretching his arms and walking, “I dunno. No mean to be rude, but I don’t think your friends would like to hang out with someone like me,” his voice echoed in the bathroom of the little apartment.

“Ah, c’mon! I’m sure they would.”

The main door slammed shut.

“Hiya!- Oh, Miles, you’re here,” Nick greeted him.

Alex got out of the bathroom almost immediately. “Nick! You’re here early.”

“Yeah, class finished early," he calmly said, sighing and throwing himself on the sofa. “So, what were you guys talking about?”

“Miles was about to leav-“

“I was just telling Alex about a little party I’m having.”

“Ooh, a party. Alex loves them.”

The mentioned gave him an angry look.

“Can I come?”

“Of course. The more, the merrier.” Now Alex gave him a look, not amused at all. “Well, I think I’ll get going now. So, see you both on Saturday at ten p.m., I guess.” He smiled and just turned around, leaving the building.

Alex glanced at Nick again, who had a smile on his face.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“Aw, _come oooon_!” He got up and went to the kitchen, searching for a snack. “This is your chance to finally tell him how you feel.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he exclaimed angrily. “What are you talking about? Jesus, why did you have to open that stupid mouth of yours?”

“Pfff, you should thank me. Besides, it’s a party, it’s been ages since you even left the house. _Pleaaaaaase_?”

“Ugh." He rolled his eyes and went to his room, like a spoiled teenager. The older one followed him, and laid on his bed, next to his side.

“Why was he here though?”

Turner chuckled. “Why do you think?”

Nick turned and laid on his side. “We’re going to that party; _you_ are going to that party.”

“Jeez, why are you being so pushy?”

“Because these last three weeks I’ve been seeing the way you look at him!”

“Tsk, nonsense.”

“If you say so. But come one, it’s gonna be fun, don’t be a party pooper.”

•~•~•~•

_“I’m just asking, are you okay?”_

_“Fucking yes!” Oliver exclaimed through the phone. “Can't you just leave me alone for five fucking minutes? It's exhausting.”_

_“What’s exhausting, me?” Alex felt like crying but he didn’t want to, not because of this asshole. “May I remind you who was the one that said- that promised he would love me and forever be with me, was you?” He heard the older man mutter a ‘Jesus Christ’. “What the fuck is your problem? You don’t talk to me for weeks, don’t call or even text anything and I’m the one who’s wrong? Well, excuse me, but I don’t think I’m asking for much.” All of a sudden, he realized his voice was shaking and cracking a bit. He wiped his tears and sighed._

_“… I don’t think this is working, Alex," he said after a deep breath._

_“What?”_

_“I think we should split up.”_

_No._  
_No, no, no._

_Alex shook his head, he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. “No, Oli, listen-“_

_“I think it’s for the best.”_

_“No! You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you-you can’t leave.”_

_“But, Alex, if you’re going to be like this then I don’t-“_

_“Well then **I’m** sorry. I am, really. Please, I just- I just got all confused and crazy for a second, yeah? Forgive me.” The other line was dead silent. “I know I overreacted, but try to understand me, I’ve been- I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit at school and with my parents and you know how it is, please-“_

_There was a beeping sound._

_“Hello? Oliver?”_

_Nothing._

_“Fuck!” He threw his phone to the bed, and started crying desperately. He went to the bathroom to wash his face and calmed down a bit, he shouldn’t be so loud otherwise his parents would hear him._

_He looked at himself in the mirror with disgust. He was angry, at himself, at Oliver. Why did things never workout for him? He just wanted to be okay, for once; and he did feel okay with Oliver. But it was complicated, really fucking complicated. Lately, they didn’t have that much time to talk anymore due to their respective responsibilities. Alex felt sad all day, and he just wanted to let his boyfriend know, to have some kind of reassurance._

_Was a kiss, or a few words of encouragement in his case, too much to ask?_

_He turned around to see the toilet in front of him. He gulped and didn’t even think twice for a second; he got down on his knees and put two fingers on his mouth, without knowing that this would change things forever._

•~•~•~•

“I really fucking hate you," Alex said quietly.

“Hush! We’re already here,” Nick scolded him and waited for the door to open.

“Guys, so happy you’re here, come inside!” Miles greeted them and stepped aside so they could enter.

Alex gave him a quick glance. He had to admit that Kane looked quite handsome tonight; even though he wore simple tight, black jeans and a plain grey t-shirt, he looked… nice. Really nice.

_'Because these last three weeks I’ve been seeing the way you look at him!'_

_Jesus, stop._

Turner sighed and quickly looked at the inside of the flat, trying to distract himself. It was fine, pretty much like his but a tad bigger. There were only three other people in the room, the table was full of snacks and alcohol.

“Oi, Miles’ friends are here," a brown-haired lad that was coming from the kitchen said. “Hi, I’m _Jameh_.”

“Matt," a guy sitting on the sofa said next. “And I’m Breana," the girl next to him smiled. She was probably dating him. 

Before he could respond, his friend had already gone ahead.

“Hi, I’m Nick, Alex’s best friend.”

Now everyone was staring at them, while Miles was chuckling behind them. “Okay, enough introduction. I’ll bring some records, what would you guys like to listen to?“

Oh boy, it was going to be a long night.

°•°•°•°•°•°

“I like your shirt.”

“Huh?”

“I said I like your shirt,” Miles repeated closer to his ear and smiled at him with a beer on his hand.

They were in front of an open window. Alex was smoking, enjoying his so wanted loneliness until the younger man appeared.

“Thanks," his smile seemed forced, “I like yours too," he said sincerely, now smiling genuinely.

Miles took a sip of his drink, “You want one?”

“Oh, no, thanks though.”

He frowned. “You sure?”

_'Don’t be a party pooper.'_

“Ah, fuck it, give me one,” Alex said, mentally punching himself. Miles grinned and went to take one from the living room table.

Whatever, he was going to have to go to the bathroom at some point anyway.

“There you go,” Kane said, getting him out of his thoughts again. After Turner thanked him, he said, “So, I assume you’re a big Strokes fan, aye?” referring to his t-shirt again.

Alex laughed. “Yeah, I love 'em.”

And just like that, their conversation went on and on, between beers (although Alex barely touched his), cigarettes and somewhat shy glances.

°•°•°•°•°•°

Miles felt a bit dizzy already.

Alex didn’t.

“Oh my God, Jamie, why didn’t you tell me you had this?” Matt exclaimed, making the boys turn around.

Cook laughed. “It was a _surpriseeeeee_ ,” he sounded really drunk. “Now give me that.”

Miles smirked when he noticed the little bag his friends had, and went straight to the couch they were sitting in. “Al, you comin’?”

_Oh no._

Jamie was already rolling a paper, while everyone was in a circle around him (Nick included), laughing and talking about anything. Alex sighed tiredly and sat next to his friend, with a serious face.

After a while, the laughs, jokes and silly faces increased, and Alex couldn’t be more irritated.

“Al, mate, you alright?” Jamie asked him with a grin. “You can have some, here.”

“No, thanks, I don’t…“ he made a disgusted face.

“You don’t smoke?” the older boy asked, making everyone laugh even more. “You gotta _chiiill_ , Alex.”

“ _Alex never chills_ ,” Nick said, resting his head on the red couch arm, looking at his friend with a numb, half-open mouth.  
Alex felt really dumb all of a sudden. He just didn’t want to get hungry, it was ridiculous.

He looked at the joint in Jamie’s hand.

_No, one beer is more than enough, you dumb fuck._

He felt tears in his eyes.

 _Shit_.

He got up and locked himself in the bathroom (of course he already knew where it was). He puked, without putting his fingers on his mouth for the first time that nnigh, and washed his face, hearing all kinds of different voices laughing at him. He was aware that they weren’t — Miles’ friends weren’t laughing at him; but the demons in his head couldn’t stop torturing him.

“Al,” he heard Miles’ voice out the door, continued by a soft knock, “you okay?”

Alex opened the door and let him in, then he locked it again.

“What’s the matter?” he asked hoarsely, though he didn’t sound as high as everyone in the other room.

Alex looked down. He definitely wasn’t going to cry in front of Miles, no. Instead, in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves, he hugged him. He hugged Miles, who, due to the substance affecting his system, was more confused than usual. Still, he put his arms around him. And then he realized how cold and little Alex’s body felt for the first time; it seemed fragile, breakable, even. He decided not to mention it though, it was probably the drugs.

He grabbed him by the cheeks, and before he could even say something, Alex kissed him.

“Al, wait, are you-“ he tried to pull him apart, obviously failing.

“Shut up, just kiss me," the other said in a breath, kissing him deeper.  
And Miles obeyed.

Soon, Alex’s body was up against the sink, Miles’ dick going in and out his arse. They didn’t even care about a condom or proper lubrication, they just needed each other.

“Fuck me harder, _c’mon_.” Alex wasn’t even thinking what he was saying anymore, but he just knew he wanted more and more and more of Miles.

They were both bumping against each other, moving desperately. Miles was fucking him into oblivion. Their clothes were anywhere except where they should be, Alex’s hands were hurting and burning because of the grip he had on the sink. They were being as quiet as possible, doubtlessly failing.

“Miles?”

“Yeah?” the mentioned gasped.

“I think I’m- _Oh, fuck_ …” Alex's heavy breaths were leaving a little fogging in the mirror. He was so close. “I think I, I really like you, Miles.” Memories from the previous weeks he spent with the youngest came to his mind all at once; the way he smiled, the way he fucked, the way he sang quietly when he thought no one was hearing, the way he always looked at him (even while having sex), and all the little things that he knew until now. And the worst thing was, he wanted to know even more.

“ _I really fucking like you_.”

And they both came, almost simultaneously.

Alex incorporated himself with the help of his hands, still not believing the stupid thing he said. Nick was fucking right, dammit.

Miles kissed his back with little pecks, coming down from his high, “ _I really fucking like you too, Alex_.”

_Oh fuck, what's he done now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [tumblr](cookiemustdie.tumblr.com/) in case you have any question, advice or just want to see the dumb things and updates i post :)
> 
> love u, hope u enjoyed!
> 
> \- may 💖


	4. Chapter 4

_‘It's love you like and everyone's at it_  
_And words are cheap when the mind is elastic_  
_He loves the violence, keeps ticking over_  
_So sleep together before today is sold forever’_

Miles let the smoke out of his mouth.

Two weeks.

Two fucking weeks.

After the 'bathroom incident', Alex simply stopped talking to him; he’d past the rest of that night, ignoring him, between awkward silences and some serious wall admiring. His messages had been left unanswered. And he couldn’t understand why.

He sighed, leaning on the large window of his room.

_'London loves the way people just fall apart_  
_London loves the way you just don't stand a chance_  
_London loves the mystery of a speeding car'_

He was angry. He was angry with him, with himself; for being such a burden to everybody, to Matt, to Hannah, even to Alex.

He took a long drag while Damon Albarn kept on shouting, his room being filled with the strange sounds the Britpop band made. He grabbed his phone, scrolling through his WhatsApp chats.

Still nothing.

He sighed, sad eyes looking at the starry night sky.

_'(Hey, hey) London loves the way people just fall apart_  
_London loves the way we just don't stand a chance_  
_London loves a speeding heart'_

°•°•°•°•°•°

The two knocks he heard on the door made him groan and stir on his bed.

“Al, you have to get up sometime,” Nick complained, he could see his feet standing through the door, “come on.” Finally, he walked away from the bedroom door, sighing.

Alex looked at the ceiling, darkness filling his puffy, tired eyes. He reached his hand to his bedside table and grabbed his phone, going right into his chats.

_do you wanna come over later?_  
_is everything ok?_  
_text me whenever you can._

Fuck, he'd really ruined things this time.

•~•~•~•

_He grabbed his phone and put the playlist on, feeling nostalgic already._

_He was locked in his room again, listening to the silly love songs that he once dedicated. He couldn’t believe how everything ended so fast, how five months had passed so fast._

_**Wonderwall** , what a cliché._

_Yes, it was stupid, but he had to admit, he missed Oliver more than ever. And since he was such a sucker for self-sabotage, he decided to scroll through their old pictures, the ones the older would take when they were fooling around on that hotel bed, making him blush and cover his face._

_Ah, fuck it._

_He got into their chat, his heart hurt a little when he saw the last unanswered messages he had sent._

_**i miss u.** _

_And it was true, he really did miss him this past week they've stopped talking to each other all of a sudden. Maybe it was their pride, but Alex was willing to throw his out the fucking window if it meant they’d talk again, at least just as friends. His body almost jumped when he heard the notification sound above Liam Gallagher’s voice._

**_i miss you too._ **

•~•~•~•

Alex looked at the plate containing the meal Nick had prepared him with disgust.

_It’s just noodles, c’mon. You can do this. You’re gonna puke it anyway._

He tried to give one of his best fake ass smiles to his best friend, who just looked at him with a slight frown. 

Of course Nick knew, he'd known since his eighteenth birthday (but that’s another history). But he didn’t know how to help, really. He had already tried many ways; controlling Alex’s meals and food and such. Fuck, he even told his parents but, since they were away, they didn’t really have the time to take care of their little boy. And Nick couldn’t do it by himself. Besides, Alex could be a real asshole when given help. So they all lived in this big lie; Alex pretended not to see the damage he was doing to himself, as well as his parents, and Nick pretended he didn’t hear the gags that came out their bathroom ten minutes after they finished any meal (in the rare case Alex had even eaten any that day). 

“Did you text him?” the older man asked, making Alex stop his movements and look at him with a shrug. “You didn’t, why?” Another shrug. “Alex… c’mon.” 

“I don’t know, Nick. I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” 

“Well, you were really fucking loud two weeks ago, and suddenly you don’t want to talk?” he half-smirked. 

“Jesus, Nick!” 

“We all could hear you two, Al," he laughed, cleaning his chin. “But seriously, call him, I feel sorry for the lad.” That, and Nick really could see the change the scouser did to his friend. The way he would smile when he texted him or when he came home after seeing him. He even started showing up to uni again. Miles was good for him, and Nick hoped Alex would finally realize that soon. 

Alex grimaced. Heck, maybe Nick was right. He also felt kind of bad for Miles, if he was honest. But he also couldn't bear seeing the younger man after what happened at the party.

Why did he say that? Was it just because of the heat of the moment? What if Miles’ response was just because of the heat of the moment? _Why did he even care what Miles thought of him?_

Goddammit. 

°•°•°•°•°•°

“I don’t know, mate. Maybe you should ring him.” 

“Nah, already tried texting him; he didn’t answer.” Miles looked outside the window, watching the car lights go from one place to another. 

“Welp, it’s his loss.” Miles smiled at Matt, and got up, going to the kitchen, eating some cookies he found.

“I feel like such a dork, like I’m seventeen again-“

“Miles, you did nothing wrong, really. I get it’s a shitty situation, but you still have time.”

“Time for what?”

“I don’t know, to fuck someone new and move on, you dummy!” he said in a loud whisper, trying not to wake Breana up. 

A _ping!_ resonated in the living room. 

“Oh, shit.”

Kane quickly walked to the little table in front of the couch, stumbling a bit in the process. He finally grabbed his phone and saw the message. 

_sorry for disappearing like that._  
_wanna come over?_

Matt, who was now behind him, said, “Okay, let’s not freak out and take it easy.” 

_Fuck that._  
Alex talked to him, he talked to him after all.

God, he did feel like a proper teenager right now. 

•~•~•~•

_He laid his back on the big bed, sighing and closing his eyes, a lovely sound going through his ears. Oliver had put a song on his phone. He heard his steps, feeling him getting closer to the bed. His eyes opened, seeing how the older man got on top of him, between his legs._

_“Missed you," he murmured on his neck, kissing it._

_Alex looked to a side. “Me too," he sighed, relaxing with the boy’s lips. He could finally feel him again, **finally**._

_Oliver grabbed his jeans, unbuttoned and pulled them down. Alex’s arms were around his neck, wanting to pull him closer._

_“ **You’re skinnier,** ” he said against his lips, caressing his ribs with his big hands, making Alex shiver and blush. He didn’t even mention Oliver his 'situation', obviously. He didn’t want to worry him or make him feel guilty; it wasn’t his fault, not really. Maybe Turner just couldn’t deal with his feelings properly, maybe that was the only way he could feel better – flush everything down the toilet, making his stomach burn and grumble. It felt good though – Oliver telling him **that**. **Really fucking good**. _

_“Yeah?” he gasped, his pants were completely gone now, as well as his boyfriend’s._

_Soon, he was moaning his name, feeling once again the sweet familiarity of his body. He was back to life, back to being himself. His ears were stunned; the 80’s song, forgotten. Oliver was touching him everywhere — he could actually feel how the other man had missed him too. Everything was going back to its place._

_We’re okay._  
_We’re okay._  
_We’re okay._

_“Yes, **oh yes** , Oli," he moaned in a whisper against his ear. _

_“You’re a fucking angel.”_

•~•~•~•

Alex jumped at the sound of his doorbell. 

“I got it!" he half yelled at Nick, who was in his room. 

The door flung open, exposing a very anxious Miles. 

“Hi,” Alex just said, nervously. He felt embarrassed, looking at how the younger man was dressed, while he just had an oversized t-shirt and black trousers on.

Miles smiled a little when he noticed his blush. “Hi.”

Alex stepped aside, letting him in. “Would you like something to eat? Anything?”

“No, thanks.” He put his hands inside his pockets, uneasy. _He looked so handsome_ , Alex thought, trying to concentrate.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” 

Oh, shit. 

Truth to be told, he didn’t really know what to say or do. He wasn’t used to opening up to people, less talking about his feelings, not at all.

“I, uh…” He tried, really tried to come up with something, anything just to make him stay. “Would you come with me?” he asked, referring to his room.

Miles hesitated for a moment, but decided to go nonetheless. They walked down the little hallway and got into Turner’s room, the soft lamplight on his bedside table making the atmosphere comfortable to the eye. He sat on his bed, and Miles sat a few inches away from him, wondering why everything had to be so mysterious.

Alex played with his bony fingers nervously. Miles noticed he seemed somewhat skinnier than two weeks ago, remembering the last time he touched his body, realizing its weird textures.

_Maybe something was going on._

“If I,” Alex finally started talking, “If I had a problem- a big problem… w-would you help me? Would you stick around?”

_What the fuck was that supposed to mean?_

The older man tried not to look at him in the eyes, fearful of his response and reaction. This increased when the boy got closer to him, sitting cross-legged, their knees almost touching.

“Yeah," Miles simply answered, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Alex finally lifted his head; their heads were extremely close, Miles’ face was shining, or at least he thought it was. He pulled him in a rush, but kissed him softly. God, he’d missed his lips. Their tongues started touching moments after, Miles got his jacket off and tried to grab his waist but Alex broke the kiss, sitting back.

Kane sighed, looking at him confused. Alex just gulped and apprehensively grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, taking it off. It was the first time he was showing his body to him, he felt embarrassed and exposed, blushing like an idiot and trying, once again, not to look at Miles in the eye.

He straightened his body, his ribs and collarbones being some of the parts that stood out the most. Without words, he was saying,

_'This is me. Take it or leave it.'_

The younger boy confirmed, _Alex really needs to fucking eat_. However, his body wasn’t ugly or unpleasing to the eye — he was underweight, yes. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have time. He wasn’t a fucking skeleton, not yet, at least. In fact, Miles was lowkey fascinated by his body.

Well, really fascinated.

It was the first time he was showing his body to him, _and Miles thought it was beautiful._

So he decided to simply show him that, by grabbing him and kissing him once again, passionately. He got Alex to straddle his lap, softly leaving red spots on his neck, grabbing his ass and listening to the little gasps that came out of his mouth. Soon, his shirt was also gone, the older boy caressed his chest and torso, looking at him with lust. He pushed his back on the bed, and took the opportunity to get between his legs, almost getting on his own knees, but Miles said, “No, don’t do that”, confusing him.

“I want to take care of you tonight, yeah?”

And Alex let him.

Soon he was under his body, both of them were naked. Alex decided to turn off the light, and Miles said it was okay, though his body was just as beautiful with the moonlight on it. Kane was leaving wet kisses on his stomach, caressing his thighs, making Alex a bit desperate. He grabbed his hair and pulled him for another kiss, taking his member with his right hand, softly stroking it.

“ _Mi…_ ” Alex sighed, moaning a bit while the other just kept going.

“Shh, just relax," he whispered against his lips, moving his head down to lick on his nipple, making Alex yelp and moan a tad louder.

He really hoped Nick had headphones on (luckily, he did, don’t worry).

Alex felt like he was having his first time again, this was even better. He had never really felt this comfortable and satisfied with anyone before, not even with Oliver. The thought of him made him open his eyes, kind of getting him out of the mood for a second.

_No. No, don’t think about that. You’re here, with Miles._

He sighed, trying to shake his thoughts away and concentrate on Miles, _his boy_.

He unconsciously smiled, feeling the boy’s hair touching his thighs, tickling him. A little hum made Miles stop kissing his inner thighs and lift his head, “What’s the matter?” he asked, with a smile.

“Nothing, you were just tickling me a bit," Alex confessed shyly.

“Aw, sorry _baby boy_ , am I tickling you now?” he teased, getting closer to his neck, nuzzling and smooching it, making Alex laugh softly.

“ _Stooooop_! You’re supposed to fuck me, not make me yell like a goat.”

“Oh my God.” Miles genuinely laughed.

Everything was so special and intimate, and natural, as if they’d known each other for years. It all felt incredibly good.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he said, looking at his eyes.

Alex just sadly smiled, pecking him.

After a while of more teasing, Alex handed him the lube and condom he got out of his drawer. Miles fingered him until he was practically begging to be fucked – he wasn’t going to last much longer. Miles finally got inside him, and _oh God, yes._

 _It all felt incredibly good_.

“Mi, Miles, I-“ he involuntarily moaned, grabbing his shoulders. The mentioned gasped on top of him, grabbing his thighs, trying to get deeper. One of his hands started going up his body, caressing his ribs and nipples, making him shiver and blush.

“You’re so gorgeous, look at you.” His hand passed his sweaty forehead, pulling his hair a little. “I could fuck you all night long. Would you like that, Alex?” he asked, while the older whimpered. “Would you like me to fuck you… _like this?_ ” He put his hand on his jaw, kissing his collarbones, pushing his hips.

Alex dumbly nodded, overwhelmed by the pleasure, his hands becoming numb because of the grip he had on the sheets.

“Yeah, Miles, do it," the mentioned looked at him once again. “ _Fuck me_.”

They both tried to hold their gaze, breaking it when Miles started going faster. Alex’s legs locked on his back, his nails started crawling it, making Miles moan hoarsely.

“Yeah, c’mon Miles, give me what I want," he said, though it felt more like a demand, between gasps.

They were close.

Really close.

Until finally, with rushed movements and a bit of bed squeaking, they both came, moaning loudly.

Alex felt extremely satisfied, and exhausted. He could tell Miles was too, by the way he laid on his chest, still panting. He caressed his hair, and he would actually have fallen asleep if Miles hadn’t got up to clean them both. They got under the covers, immediately cuddling each other.

Alex nuzzled his neck, giving little kisses to it.

Miles hummed. “Did you miss me? You’re touchy.”

Alex felt embarrassed all of a sudden, attacked. But then, looking at Miles’ eyes, he realized there wasn’t a reason to be. Maybe he should just get a bit loose, take it easy, let go. And, strangely, he felt like he was ready – able to do so.

“Yeah, _I missed ya._ ” He smiled.

Maybe the feeling would be gone by tomorrow morning, and everything would go back to being the same as always. But, for that night at least, he felt good, with Miles by his side.

_And he was fucking happy for it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long waitttt,, school is literally killing me.
> 
> i really hope u enjoyed this chapter, i think it's one of my favs so far :))
> 
> btw the song at the beggining it's london loves by blur,,, duh 
> 
> tumblr: @/cookiemustdie !
> 
> \- may 💖


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